Hubby and I married early, really early. He was 19 and I was 21. I know that it freaked out my mom and his parents but they all were so supportive and never really said much. I know that I felt supported by my mom even though she was married at 21 and her marriage was over by the time it was my turn. I always thought our kids would follow suit and find their mate early and we would have grandkids early. That has not been the case for us but I know that everything happens in the best timing of all, God’s.
Our youngest daughter Caylee has made choices for her life that are a bit different than the average American female. She and I have watched 19 Kids and Counting and now watch Counting On. These are reality shows of the Duggar family from Arkansas who have 19 children. They are a Christian family with tons of love for one another and God. The children have chosen to “court” as they have grown up and begun finding their life partners. As we watched these courtships, she made a decision that she wanted that kind of relationship, one that is focused on getting to know the other person without physical connection until after marriage. The Duggar’s go as far as the first kiss being on their wedding day and nothing more than hand holding, which doesn’t happen until engagement, ever. Though she is 23 now, she has followed her heart on that and only chooses to “date with a purpose” which is the definition of courting.
True to her own commitments, we had a young man come last week and ask permission to get to know our daughter, with a purpose. As a mom, I am so blessed and honored that she listens to us and has chosen this path. We all know this world is tough and dating a lot of men adds so much stress in life that she decided it wasn’t worth it. She also wants mom and dad’s thoughts. She has brought a few other men to us and frankly, they didn’t deserve her. She has gotten asked out so much that sometimes her picker wasn’t on point. This time however, it was exactly on point. Though her choice makes us a bit nervous, I sense such a peace in my heart and he seems to be the perfect match for her.
Now for the nervous part. He is from Cameroon, Africa. His name is Nate and he has been in the United States for two and a half years. She met him at some of our best friend’s house on the Fourth of July, a year after he’d arrived. Our friend’s parents have somewhat adopted Nate into their family from the first day they met him at church. They cannot say enough incredible things about him, first and foremost that he loves Jesus! As I said to our friend’s mom, that isn’t the only thing we have to consider here and we know that if we had too severe of reservations she wouldn’t let herself fall. That being said, we couldn’t find anything about him that wouldn’t be what we want for her. They met a long time ago and he has respectfully pursued her almost since that time. He is about to finish up his second Masters Degree and working two jobs for now. He does love God and he seems to adore our daughter, what could be better? One thing I think of is that our grandkids could end up somewhere besides the US. I can’t even fathom it! I do have a sister-in-law from Mexico and had another sister-in-law from Canada, I guess it runs in our family lineage to combine heritage from everywhere, only mine is the furthest away.😳
I have determined in my life that God hasn’t let me down yet so if this is His will, He will do whatever it takes to take care of our family. I love that our kids challenge me to think outside of the boxes I felt like I was raised in. I want them to live their life and follow their own journey to Jesus. The only way I believe we find Him is through our own journey. I tried for so long to live the ideal Muskogee family life. Though much of our life looks like that, our journey has been way tougher than I believed life could be. We all create a quality world idea as children and the expectation that creates causes so many things to look bad. What if, just what if it all was exactly what God intended to bring you to where you are today? Could you look at things in the future differently? What would you change today?
I wouldn’t change a thing. I am a highly blessed and favored daughter of the King of this world and He loves me. I know that whatever choices our kids make whether or not I would make that choice, it will lead them His love. Love is what I want them to have and know and so I will love them the best I know how. I want their journeys to be easier than the one their parents have had to endure. Even if our grandkids ended up in Africa, what I know to be true about God is that He will use it to draw us all closer to Him. We may end up doing mission work in Africa, who knows??
I will continue to rest in Jesus as He walks with our kids to find their ways. I know they all three have chosen Jesus and therefore, I can rest. And who knows, we may have little chocolate grand babies before we know it! (My daughter is the one who says that and I kind of love it!)
“…But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord” Joshua 24:15♥️