It is so crazy how I can feel like I am on top of the world with Jesus one day, never imaging I will have another day without Him. Then it happens, the text, the phone call, the news, whatever it is that the enemy throws at me so that I lose sight of being on top of the world with Jesus. I’m consistently surprised by how quickly I can be taken out. That makes me chuckle to even think about because it happens most every day. I still get surprised by it. The Bible says in 1 Peter 4:12 to not be surprised by the fiery ordeal that is coming at you to test you like it’s strange. It is strange, I’m sure that I am not supposed to hurt in life, right?
Today I got taken out again. My counselor tells me that, as long as things are taking me out for a shorter amount of time and with less destruction in my path, then I’m improving. At least there’s improvement. It’s gotten shorter but I have a long way to go! I know the truth and I want it to set me free so that I don’t get taken out, but it happened, again. I wish I could lead you well by saying that I immediately go to God and truth to pull myself out of the ache of the moment, but that isn’t where I am excelling. I know that if I proclaim the truth that is what I will focus on and that will be my reality, but I still forget to go there first. Years ago a mentor of mine said that “a lie we believe is true we will live out as if it is true.” When something happens in my life, I start focusing on what is wrong, what I did wrong, what I can do to correct and repair, and fret over it, sometimes for days. That isn’t helpful to me or to the situation. How can I focus my thoughts on God and good things (Philippians 4:6) and be fretting over what has just happened?
Today was about rejection. That is a word I am intimately familiar with and I do not like it at all. I want to be first choice in friendship, especially when it is someone whom I love dearly. I did not get picked first this time and it hurt. I do get picked first sometimes, but each time I don’t my first “woe is me” goes to terrible thoughts about myself and the other person. Do you ever struggle with that when you feel rejected? My thoughts ran to so many places where I was beating myself up for not being a good enough friend so that this friend would want to choose me first. Next my thoughts began fighting for what I have invested in this friendship verses what the person who was chosen this time has given and I got self-righteous, that isn’t helpful either. My thoughts ran amok with so many conversations that I would like to have with this friend who did not pick me, none of which would have been helpful. I landed on truth, we are friends and she loves me, and it wasn’t my turn. There could be any number of reasons that I wasn’t included, I don’t have to understand it I just have to accept that it’s okay. Not being chosen this time does not define our friendship, or our love for one another. When I focus on the truth about “who I am in Christ” it doesn’t even matter why it went the way it did, what matters is that I love my friend and she did what she felt God was calling her to do.
What I know how to say when I get taken out is this, “Jesus”. When I call on Him, He will do the rest. Everything that happens is a test, it isn’t as strange as I want to believe. How am I going to respond this time? I am going to respond with “Jesus” and let Him make it all okay again.
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:12
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:12