Mid-Life Crisis

Welcome back! I cannot believe it has been so long since I have written. I write this blog for me right now, though one day I pray it becomes more about you. I write because I have to, I feel as if I was born to write. When I entered OSU in 1989, I hadn’t ever heard of being a journalist. Hubby’s friend from high school told me about his major and it intrigued me. I graduated with a BA in Journalism in 1993 after writing for The Daily O’Collegian, receiving the placement of a front page article. I only tell that because I see it every time I sit down to write in my office, Hubby had it framed for me. After college I didn’t pursue the calling to write, I pursued the opportunity to feed my family. Getting married young, and having children way too young, means plans get put on the back burner and you get a job to make a living. I can’t say that I would change it for me, God gave me so many opportunities in that time. I just think the itch to write is back and God is using my story to draw others to Him.

This week I leave for a conference in North Carolina. The conference is called She Speaks. I know that God has called me to teach about His love to others, it’s that passion inside of me that won’t disappear. I love telling stories, I’m gifted at it, and I have so many stories saved up from 50 years of life that I know it’s time to start sharing them. God has been so faithful and good to me, I just have to share it. On our way to our anniversary trip in the Oklahoma mountains this year, we heard about this conference and I knew instantly that I had to go! I didn’t know I was going to be so ill-equipped and unprepared! When I signed up to go, I thought I would go and listen and learn, then I got the email telling me to have things prepared to share and hand out. What?!?!?

Okay, so I have been praying about this for days and this morning God gave me the audience for my first book. Though I write to anyone, this first one has to be the story Jesus wants to tell through me first. As I was spending time with Him, He told me which story He wants to tell. It’s the story of the middle of my life. Right now. The time when it’s not too late and yet a lot of life is gone. The in-between. I’m nervous about this topic because I haven’t lived it yet. I am in it, but there is no real success here yet. At least that’s the way I am seeing it. The time when your kids are making their own choices and you don’t always see your teaching in it. The time when your husband’s bad habits and your bad habits are rearing their ugly heads too often for the amount of time you’ve been together. The time when you realize that all of the effort you’ve put into life hasn’t gotten you where you dreamed you’d be. It’s that time and that time is here.

I know Dad will receive from me the life He planned but I know some of the dreams He has for me and they are not finished. Many are not even begun. I ask for prayer today for God to fulfill His purpose in me and that I will choose His path daily. Also prayers for this travel and the next to Wonder, Bethel women’s conference with Coree are appreciated.

“For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise.” Hebrews 10:23