I am so excited to be turning 50 this week. I know that may sound insane to many, women especially, but for me it is a milestone that I didn’t know if I would reach. Ten years ago, on my birthday, Hubby threw a party for me. Forty is a milestone of success and joy because you have done so many things in life to celebrate. My forty, at least the few months leading up to it, marked a milestone because I was still breathing. I’d been in the hospital for nearly two months, a week if it in life support, and had only been home about three weeks on that day. I recall sitting in the corner of our couch, taking up very little space. My friends who were there to celebrate my life had to come to me on the couch to get attention, I couldn’t even walk without a walker. Life looked vastly different than it does going into this 50th year celebration and I am grateful to be alive.
My word this year was blessed. The scripture God placed on my heart along with that word is Luke 1:45, “Blessed is she who believed God would do what He said He would do.” That has been a landmark verse for me this year and I want to confess to you, God has done so much of what He has shown me He will do and I am BLESSED. Hubby and I have played, worked, laughed, cried, struggled, and so much more this year. It has been rocky and rough terrain for the past several years but we fight for our marriage and my life on a daily basis. Several years ago I began to pray and ask God for so many things. I believed Him when He said, “Ask whatever you will in my name and it shall be given.” (John 16:23 NIV) No, God is not my (or your) trick pony but I do believe that He drops our prayer requests on our timeline or in His economy, hands it out to a brother or sister who needs it more. Prayer is definitely answered regardless.
Here I am at 50 and I think I finally believe that I am a really neat lady. I really like myself. Sadly, throughout my life there have been people whom I couldn’t get away from, and then didn’t know how to get away from, that have worked diligently to convince me that I have very little value. God chose to keep me around ten years ago. That was the starting ground of me realizing that I have a purpose to fulfill and value in this world. I know that was rather late in life to come to that realization but that is when it happened for me. At that time I began to seek God’s heart for me and learn about my identity in Christ. Six years ago I attended a retreat in Colorado called Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge, and it changed my life and my walk with Jesus forever. I will forever be grateful that I got the opportunity to attend that retreat and seven more since that time. I wanted to offer the same retreat to ladies in Oklahoma five years ago and the enemy stole it from me. It has been five years and God has been teaching me and loving on me all that time! I’m excited for the beginning of my sixth decade of life and I plan to fulfill that dream in Spring 2020! There will be more about that to come, but for now, even getting to take one step into ministry of sharing Jesus with others thrills my heart.
I am blessed. I have a Hubby who adores me, children who love me, and a really good life. God has been faithful to me and to our family. I don’t know what all this decade holds, but I do know the God who does. He has brought this lady back to life and shown me the value He created in me regardless of what others may say. I know I am His Beloved, I am Blessed, and I will reveal my 2020 word soon but I bet He will root that word in my heart just as deeply as He has the first two.