I haven’t written in so long! Well, that isn’t fully true, I’ve had two partially done in my drafts that didn’t seem relevant anymore so I deleted them. I leave them their for hubby to edit for me, if I didn’t sometimes I would put a mess out there. I remember writing for The O’Colley when I attended OSU as a journalism student, my editors didn’t enjoy getting my stories, there were too many errors in them to catch. Gratefully he doesn’t mind editing but that also means they don’t always get posted. I told him I wanted to write tonight before we even left town, I hate when you have so many gaps in the story. We are doing well, only physically we are a little worn down. I have been fighting different health issues and Doc (Hubby, they are his two nicknames, I rarely call him Matt) and I have been traveling. Last weekend was Orlando for business and this weekend was time away with our daughters. We all needed a weekend of rest, away from our own spaces where there is much to be done. I caught up on some sleep this weekend and it felt really good. We had a great weekend hiking, playing board games, cooking together, watching movies, and best of all reconnecting and catching up. I miss time with our kids when life gets this hectic. Regardless of anything else, he made sure I was home in time to write.
Then I get to my office and struggle with settling down enough to get quiet with Jesus. I typically forget to simply ask Him to come, I know He is always here, but until I ask Him, I am not focusing on Him. A few years back Stasi Eldredge told me Jesus would come for me and I thought “not me” and “what would that even look like?”. Because I wanted the freedom in Christ she had, I trusted to at least ask Him to come for me. So I did and He does, every single day of my life! This song Awaken Love by Kim Walker Smith was on the Bethel worship station I listen to. It’s one I wasn’t real familiar with so I began to listen to the words and breathe in Jesus. As the words began to penetrate into every part of me I felt Jesus return and my heart overflow with His love for me! “Take me back to the point of surrender…like a child….meet me face to face…awaken love within me…Jesus come, my first love.” Those words penetrated to the depths of who I am and who He is, I found myself loudly whispering “Yes!”. When we travel over weekends, I begin to neglect this kind of time with Jesus and I want Him to meet me right where I am tonight.
I love traveling with hubby. I call the hubby I get when we travel “Vacation Matt” and I can have a lot of fun with that guy! He has done his best in offering that guy to me the past two weekends but the truth is, I haven’t been able to enjoy it much. I know that I have avoided special time alone, time just to hear His voice and give me strength. That happens so much when we travel because we are together all the time, most trips. I spend time with Him in the Bible first thing in the mornings, but I find that time not sufficient anymore so I take time talking with Him as I get ready and that works great only, there is very little alone time when traveling. By the time I get home, I am in need of recharge and somehow doing some of it on here helps that process. I don’t know if it would even matter if anyone reads this, I do it because of obedience and to share my heart for Jesus. I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, the more I see Jesus love for us and the sacrifice He made, the more I get how blessed I am. My eyes are being opened to how blessed a life and family I was born into, I could have been born in a third world country where I had to walk miles a day for clean water! The truth is I live in America, the most spoiled nation in the world. We have everything we need in our homes and if we run out, there is a Walmart a few blocks away! The next time I start to complain about things I don’t have, I pray He shows me this blog entry because I am blessed “as is!”! And because of the grace of my Jesus, I will always ask for more!
As you head back to work this week and you take a minute to read through your schedule, figure in some time with Jesus. Find a song that speaks to your heart and let it soak in, you will start to see your seasons in terms of songs. Try Awaken Love on for size, I put the link at the bottom for you to enjoy. I will try and share more of what Jesus and I talk about as time allows. Know this, I am praying for everyone reading this, I don’t know why I feel called but I find life sharing my story on here. God bless!