Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul, He’s in the waiting… Such a beautiful song, and this weekend, in my steadfast soul and lot’s of waiting, Jesus performed a miracle in me! I can’t even explain exactly what the miracle was, it wasn’t a limb healed or leprosy gone, it was a subtle shift in my thinking. When I left here on Wednesday, I did so without any pictures of what it would look like this time running through my head. You know the thoughts we have about what new friendships will look like and what our own expectations are for how our miracle needs to look? It’s the tapes we play, with expectation and hope, and they are not all bad by any means. Sometimes I can get trapped in how something should look so much so that I don’t see what really happens. This past weekend, and even today, I sense, even at the cellular level, something different that I couldn’t fully explain to anyone that hasn’t known for a long time. However, I am going to try and share what this past weekend looked like because without a doubt in my head, God shifted my thinking and frankly, that is what He is longing to do with us all.
It was sooooo beautiful in Fraser, Colorado y’all!!! It snowed every day we were there! I am aware that some people will see those exclamations and immediately think I am nuts to have loved it, the beach is more your style and I like the beach too, but the snow, well… it takes my breath away. The peace that fell over our campground was incredible, the Holy Spirit was there and we were safe. That is the best way to describe the essence of the weekend so I wanted to start there. The snow added an extra warmth to it, yes that sounds crazy, but what I am trying to describe is God’s nature, His almightyness (for lack of a better word) was present and it felt so safe to be there. I go to a lot of the Captivating’s, but this weekend was the Advanced Captivating and so everyone there has begun there journey to find the heart of Jesus for healing and restoration. That adds a level of safety that isn’t necessarily at the Captivating because many are hearing this message for the first time and it is an invitation to go deeper with our Creator and Savior, not all will. I was excited to see many of my roommates from last fall’s Captivating, I didn’t realize so many in my room were going to go and that was fun! I also got to see a lady I haven’t gotten to speak with in four years, I got some healing and restoration from that encounter. The entire weekend had God’s fingerprints all over it!
We stay in large “dorms”, they are two story log cabins with enough space for four rooms, 7 bunk beds in each and two large living areas. They are very nice accommodations compared with other camps for kids that I have been to in the past. At the Advanced they only assign 7 per room so that everyone gets a lower bunk, but at Captivating we use them all. As a room, we pray a lot together over the weekend and 7 is a bit safer than 14, I am grateful they do it that way. We attend sessions on topics such as walking with God, spiritual warfare, ways of relating, contemplative prayer, and more. I attribute the maturity I’ve had over the past five years to Ransomed Heart Ministries and each persons willingness to chase after the heart Jesus and their obedience to share Him with others. I’ve gotten completely off of all sleeping medication and anti-depressants since I began spending time in the presence of Jesus, something I told my husband wouldn’t happen and he needed to leave it alone. I’m so grateful for this ministry and the women that allow themselves to be vulnerable to help us see that we all are broken and need our hearts healed by our Maker. The weekend offered nothing less than love.
My miracle is subtle, but it’s so very hopeful. I’m learning that God loves me desperately and that nothing in this world will ever satisfy the heart of me but Him.
“Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I love you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are My disciples – when they see the love you have for each other.” John 13:34-35 MSG