I want to start this with some factual statements… I am not highly educated and I did the bare minimum to graduate from college. Most of what I learned back then I have forgotten today. I lost a lot of memory with the medications I had to take during my life crisis from 2009 – 2013, thus a lot of my education couldn’t be retained. On top of all of that, though I do consider myself to have wisdom and experiential education, I don’t see myself as book smart or smart in general. (I can hear some of you thinking, she shouldn’t see herself that way, I think she’s smart.) All of that being said, I also believe in the depths of my soul that I have the mind of Christ and I am deeply rooted in Him knowing what the truth is, still, I don’t know very much. I, meaning, I, as Chandra. As I continue my journey with Jesus, I realize that I have ways of seeing things that are completely wrong! I think I am right and I bet I could find something on Google to back me up, but when weighed against the truth I find in God, I am dead wrong.
Not too many years ago, possibly even months, I wasn’t even close to ready to say those things out loud. Reminding myself that I wasted a lot of good education, not to mention time, was a humility that I wasn’t fond of stating aloud. I have considered going back to school since I got out of the hospital in 2009 after being on life support and learning to walk again. Actually I think I considered it WHILE I was in the hospital. After that near death experience, learning anything new was really difficult, I got really sick. They explained it to Hubby and I like this: My body was highly malnourished because I wasn’t absorbing any nutrients, so my body sought after healthy cells and the ones it used were in my brain. Thus after that illness, I had to learn to use new cells and form them to do the things the others couldn’t do now. Reading was such a hard task back then, it is still a little challenging. The more I do it, the more I get from it, but reading takes me longer than it ever has and my retention is much lower. I’ve worked to develop my mind with things like Lumosity, an online scientific based, cognitive game and daily reading of the Bible. As for the Bible, I used to be the person that “was not a morning person” but in 2013 I decided that I get to say what kind of person I am and I wanted to be a morning person! I made the commitment to spend the start of every day with Jesus, even though I had no idea what that would grow to, and reading the Bible is a precious part of every day for me now.
Today I got an email from Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, it’s is one of the marriage ministries I follow, and it was titled, “My Spouse Wants To Go Back to School. Now What? It was a good blog, one of the best things I read in it was this… “Remember, some times paying a price now creates a better pay off down the road. Further education could help your spouse continue to grow into the best version of themselves, and he or she won’t be the only one to reap the benefits: you and your family will too.” (here is the link to the blog in case you’re interested, https://www.symbis.com/blog/). School can be a difficult subject in some homes, I know in our house growing up with my mom it was a touchy subject. She dropped out of college, (Bethany Nazarene College, now Southern Nazarene) to work my dad through. I guess the rule in their homes was, if you get married prior to graduation, you pay for your own education, so she sacrificed so he got to finish. Hubby and I had the same rule passed on to us and though my dad did pay off my education loans, we had difficulty with “cost of living” during college. Somehow, we both finished undergrad and he continued on to finish his doctorate. I started a Master Degree in Psychology in my mid-20’s, my dad and I took a semester together, it was fun. I really enjoyed the topic, I did a lot of my electives in the subject as an undergrad and knew I really enjoy understanding how people think. As I have experienced more people, I enjoy the subject even more today and that brings me to this entire topic foundation, going back to college as an adult.
I don’t know what I would even do with a Master’s Degree in Psychology or Social Psychology. I don’t really think I would enjoy sitting in an office every day listening to other’s stories and offering a different perspective. I may, but being in an office setting does not appeal to me much. So then, what would I do and would it even be beneficial to have a rooted education in a topic that I am learning without the education? That is what I ask myself when this idea comes up. I don’t want to be a social worker, they are unappreciated, overworked, and burned out within the first year. I know they go into the field because they love helping others and want real change, unfortunately in our societal system, our enthusiastic new graduates get hammered with the reality of red tape and lose heart before their first great save of a precious life. Before you know it, they are seeking another career and are frustrated they spent four to six years in college preparing their future in a place that tends to be unthankful and overwhelming. Fortunately, I didn’t follow my heart in college and go that direction, instead, I learned how to write so I could write this blog.🤨😉
Money or a better job isn’t the reason I would go back to college. If I go back, the reasons are way more personal. Hubby and I did attend a semester of Ministry School, but I don’t think that was what my heart was looking for when I thought of “school”. I really want to know more about the Bible and the history and theology of it, but I want to mix that with learning how to help people see past their own way of looking at things. I think that is what counselors are really offering to their patients, another perspective. It sound quite simple but, we all filter everything, including our education, through our story. If that is the case, when we hear their story’s we are really going to offer our perspective. Our perspective, due to education and experience, will have some depth to it because of that, but it will still be just that…our perspective. So, what would an education offer that would be better for my (and Hubby’s) future and my personal growth? My thought is it would be more about personal growth. Is that growth worth the sacrifices that will come if I choose to go that direction? And, is my personal growth a good enough reason to change a lot of our free time to study time and class time? And, the most famous of all questions… Am I too old to make a difference?
If I am honest with myself, one dream of mine would be possible if I do decide to start school again. That dream is of being a college professor. I have that little nugget tucked away in me and the only way I could make it come true would be going back to school. I LOVE to teach, it was my top thing on an aptitude test I took in college and many I’ve taken since then. God has beautifully woven teaching into my story over the years through being a trainer in my favorite job and I have found that I flourish in that role. Not only professorship, but also it could help me in ministry. I believe I was blessed by this incredible story of life and I long to offer what God has shown me over the years in lessons and in blessings. I know that I am not really “old” at this age, but I have lived a lot of life in my years and God has been the main character through them all. Sharing what He has done and who He is to me, and for me, that is my greatest dream in life! Having an education will open more opportunities to do just that! Since that is my main hearts desire, my question turns to another issue, what kind of college and what degree??? That is a topic for another post but for now, deciding if post graduate work is in my near future must be decided on and the more I think about it, the more excited I get! I’m thinking that if excitement is aroused by considering more education, then it is likely I should consider that path heavily. I’m going to continue praying and looking for my opportunity, I am sure that God has a plan in this dream of mine. I definitely appreciate any prayers you can offer! God bless and have an awesome day!
“Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding.” Prov 3:13
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