Look at that new closet!! I was trying to decide what picture of our new house to share with you, I wasn’t sure about putting the front of it on here so I shared the one I am most excited about – MY CLOSET!! When we bought our current house, we sized down, before that we came from a house where we had, sized down. We spent eight years at one house and it had an incredible closet, I got spoiled and since we share closets, the last two have been a challenge. Hubby is super organized, as a matter of fact, every six months or so he will go through my shelves and refold everything to his liking. Because we have learned to live with the things we don’t actually enjoy about each other, I work harder than ever AND I let him know how grateful I am to be able to see all of my clothes better and that I will work harder this time to keep it in order. He smiles and tells me he loves me just like I am but a little more effort wouldn’t hurt. We both have matured into those responses in the areas where we are SO different, but I am certain that Hubby is grateful our closet will be increasing in size as well.
Leaving this house is bringing up a lot of emotions. We’ve been here for three years and have grown A LOT since we settled here. It’s been a house of emotional roller coasters, to say the least. I think I cried more in this house in two of the three years than I ever had in the past. Some of those tears were sad, some were angry, some were bitter, and some were drunk, others were grateful, joy filled, beautiful, and holy, and ALL were worth it. Twenty-five years of marriage to the same person brings a lot of unresolved conflicts to the surface. You think you know this person that you basically grew up with, and then you find out that maybe you don’t know them at all. But here’s the bigger part of that, you realize you don’t really even know yourself. If you don’t know yourself, how can you possibly know your spouse or them know you? That is another topic for another day, but a great topic.
When we are about to move, I am elated to be married to a man like my hubby! Let me tell you how simple this move is going to be for us. Hubby got us a POD four weeks ago, in that POD we packed our entire attic, almost all of the closets, AND several pieces of furniture. I was concerned about living in our house without our “things” around us for four weeks, but I survived and have grown more grateful for Hubby because of it. We load the truck on Thursday afternoon and every drawer is empty unless we use it daily, and the living room is full of boxes ready to be loaded. Not every move we’ve made has looked this easy, however, Hubby has learned the lessons we needed to and has gotten this one right! He isn’t even going to be here for all of the movers loading and doesn’t need to be, we load the night before we close and store the truck with our belongings on the mover’s lot. On Friday, we will go to closing at 11 am and head to our new house with everything finished but the unloading. I don’t have to stress Friday morning about cleaning this house and finishing loading and all the other things that happen on moving day!
As I leave this house and my emotions are all over the place, I am reminded of a vision one of my counselors had about it. She said that a picture she got was she saw couples walking into our house, in the front you go by a large flower bed and in that bed, she saw tall roses rising up to meet them. The unusual things about the roses was that the thorns had been removed, almost as if someone had used a tool and cut them all off. She said that it was as if couples would becoming into this home and they would find healing here. At the time of her vision, I had a hard time buying that could be true, Hubby and I were at odds ALL the time and we can both be mean arguers and very hateful when we don’t practice self-control, so it hasn’t been pretty. I meditated on her vision for a several months after that appointment and God continued to show me that what I see in the present isn’t what will be in the future…ever. Change is guaranteed. Now that we have peace in our lives, I will kind of miss this house because here is where Hubby and I fell back in love. I won’t miss the process, and I see that the next home can start with joy so that we can face whatever it is that God uses to grow us that next season.
I don’t ever want to stop growing. Change is a good thing to me, most of the time. I was in so many schools as a kid, change had to become a game for me and I learned to embrace it as a gift. Hubby didn’t have much change in his life, every house we’ve lived in except this one could be his last and he would be great. He lived in two homes as a child, prior to meeting him I’d lived in a minimum of 13 houses, this is more normal for me. Though common, and in some ways fun, there is always a part of me that will miss the familiar but I am excited about the gift of change. I am not the same woman I was when we moved to this house, God has used it’s presence and His Presence to grow me and mature me into who I am today. For that reason, this house will hold a special place in my heart and saying goodbye is filled with conflicting emotions. Hubby was ready to sell this year, I hadn’t decided if I was ready, but I am ready now and it’s time!
I thank God He has used this house to bring the light into our marriage. It’s strange that a house project and living in that project will somehow bring you closer in your marriage or it can divide and conquer. This house was a “flip” house, we made every inch of it new. I learned to yield my will to Hubby’s will, and to do it with grace and love. If that was the only thing I learned here, it was worth all of it. Gratefully and fortunately, I have learned way more than that, so has Hubby. God is incredible and He loves us so much that He will never leave us where we are and His loving hand will guide us when we choose to follow. So, God, here we come. New season, new home, new ideas and new friendships, we are ready for the next…
“”If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:31