Last weekend Hubby pursued me. We’ve started a four month reconciliation process with a counselor who has been working with couples for 51 years, married 58. I’ve met his wife, she is genuinely joy filled. He works with one or the other spouse even if it doesn’t end in both partners working to reconcile. He wants to teach people how to be friends. He uses homework, lots of homework, and teaches us to really talk to one another. There is a minimum amount of time we spend with each other per month. For Hubby and I, too little time has not been the problem. Since my near death 10 years ago, too much time has been the problem. We lost who we were individually, we may not have ever even known. We married in college and had a daughter two years later and twins two years after that, we grew together to make the path work. In any marriage the pursuit sometimes stops and the grind begins. As children are leaving and it’s back to “us”, those things become more prominent and the pressure we feel to perform gets grueling.
Hubby is winning me over with his pursuit. Pursuit is individual for each of us based on our likes and dislikes and our story. Hubby and I spent the weekend at his place because of a church event near by. When I arrived at his apartment he had fresh flowers for me, he knows fresh flowers make me smile. He loves to make me smile. He put the remote controls on my night stand so that I could choose what we watched. (Smile) He made space for me in his closet so that I could get to my clothes easiest. (Smile) He cooked dinner for me so I didn’t have to hurry and get ready for the conference after working out. (Smile) He knows me and that blesses my heart. Each “smile” brings him closer to my heart. I’ve been starved of pursuit by Hubby and he is attempting to make up for it and it feels really good.
The pursuit is the greatest promise of love, it says “you matter to me”. I knew I mattered to God, but I had no idea how much. Last year my word was blessed, the end of the year didn’t look very blessed to me or to my loved ones. Sometimes even pain can be a blessing because once the wound is open and bleeding, only then can we know that we need to cleanse it and let it heal. Sometimes letting it heal means providing protection against the elements, in matters of the heart that can mean taking a break. That is what the blessing of 2019 has done in our family, it opened the wounds so that we can know they are there. As 2020 continues, moving at a pace that is greater than I would like, God IS working. He is pursuing our hearts, He is pursuing our souls. He longs to spend time with us so that our friendship can grow and mature. That is how friendships deepen and expand, and that is how our friendship with Jesus does the same. To be known and pursued is one of the deepest desires of the female heart. One of the deepest desires of a man’s heart is to have a beauty to rescue. Hubby has his beauty, the one God gave him in his youth. God has pursued his heart enough now that he knows what pursuit feels like and he is offering it to me.
“Time heals all wounds.” I don’t know who said that but I believe it may be true. Sometimes it takes stepping away from the one who caused the wounds to get a true perspective. I believe in my marriage and in my husband. He wants to be the man that God created him to be. He is being pursued by Jesus and he is pursuing me, his wife. Than you Hubby for your pursuit. Thank you Jesus for Your pursuit.
“I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.” Psalms 139:7-8
“For the Lord you God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior, He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17
“The man who finds a wife find a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” Prov 18:22