This day brings out emotions for most women that I have talked with over the years. Just so you have an idea of how many stories I have, I would tell you that I have over 3,000 contacts in my phone today. I love people, and I love their stories even more. This particular Valentine’s Day, Hubby started early. Yesterday I received a bouquet of flowers at our office. What a blessing that was to my heart, we’ve been rather disconnected in all of the busy and he wanted to remind me that I matter and that he loves me in all of it. He hasn’t always been so great at Valentine’s Day, but we are both growing up.
This week, true to most weeks, I heard many stories and a lot of them centered around Valentine’s Day. Some of those stories were precious and I applaud that man for making the woman telling the story feel so special. Sadly, other stories I hear aren’t so precious. In fact, one I heard this week stands out for me because I simply was speechless when she told it to me. I seriously drew quiet and looked for an exit. Gratefully, Hubby walked up and took my hand just as I was about to run. I love this woman dearly. She and I have studied the Word of God together several times and I know how much she loves the Lord. I know her husband as well, and he love Jesus just as much. Loving Jesus does not always make you wise in relationship. As I stood there listening to her tell me of how for more than two decades of single life, raising children, she ignored Valentine’s Day. Now that she is married, and has been for several years, she shared that this year her husband asked her if they could go back to her ignoring Valentine’s Day so that he wouldn’t feel pressured. WHAT THE?!?!?!?!?! My heart began to race, my mind followed quickly after when she told me that she agreed because she didn’t want him to feel pressured. She shared it in the sweetest, most innocent way that a servant’s heart would share it. I have watched her serve and love her husband and community in such a way that I am sure she has convinced herself that what she is doing is absolutely the fair and just and loving thing. It’s not. I’m sorry he decided to do that. You are a true Proverbs 31 woman and you de deserve to be recognized EVERY holiday regardless of it’s validity as a holiday.
My heart began to weep for her. One of the first things I did was tell Hubby how grateful I am that I am his wife. I understand that men “can”put themselves under undo pressure for this holiday. I get it. I do it for my loved ones at every holiday. I want to give them the perfect gift so that their eyes will light up and they will KNOW that I love them. Valentine’s Day is a tricky one. It isn’t just about you and your Hubby or boyfriend, so it’s tough to consider it would affect us ladies so much. The ladies I’ve spoken with who are single are longing for a relationship so they will be acknowledged on this day. I know it’s true because I hear the stories. But what about those of us who are going on three decades of life with the same man. What about the one’s that are in their first or second or even fifth or sixth decade? We, as women in God’s own image, want to feel special! Especially when we see all these other women around us being made to feel special. It does not have to be anything big but a reminder that we are on your mind and that we matter. It does not take much for a lot of us and if you have failed in the past, it will take even less. But, men, under NO circumstance do you manipulate your wife into seeing you as some poor soul that needs pity rather than a kick in the pants.
Take care of the woman you have sex with! She matters! And, if you want to continue making love and being intimate as God created us to be, long into your married life, take care of our hearts. Get to know your wife so that when this holiday arrives, you are ready and armed with handfuls of love. Don’t buy chocolates because you see everyone else doing that, we don’t want that any more than you want a tie on Father’s Day. Unless of course it is the dessert.
I pray I don’t hear another story like this. I also pray that Hubby will remind the men in his life to take care of their Ezer Kenegdo, life-saving counterpart. The more you tend to our heart gentlemen, the more of a life-saving, life-bringing, air delivering, joy filling woman you will have by your side and in your bed.