Naked and Not Ashamed

I’m sitting in my office at home looking out the window at the ice covered ground. It is so cold! I’m procrastinating taking my final exam online. I’m not concerned about it, I’m just putting it off because Hubby told me to stay home. When we spoke earlier, he told me that the Fed-Ex truck had an accident in front of our office as he was attempting to turn into our parking lot. He slid into another car. Then, while were on the phone, the USPS truck slid into the curb! I think I will be obedient and stay home, even though I really want to go to lunch with our pastor today. We’ve had it planned for two weeks, and now we have to postpone, darn it.

I’ve had to make some tough decisions lately. Saturday I ended up at the Heart Hospital ER because after a week of experiencing chest pains and the increase in pain and consistency made nervous, we decided it would be wise. No worries, my heart looks great according to the doctor. I’m just stressed. Simple as that. Only, stress is not simple. When I started looking at what I could remove from my schedule, there was only one clear choice, school. When I decided to go back to Graduate school, life was going along at a slower pace, it seemed to be a practical time. I knew I wanted to graduate when I was 50 and sensed that it would work. I’ve done really well in school, including A’s and 100’s on major projects. The content of the classes resonates with me and I recall a lot from Graduate school in my 20’s. However, the time allotment I gave the first two classes was doable, this current class has taken about twice as much time. Because of timing, and God’s abundant blessings, we got a building and that also has taken time. Not to mention learning new systems in our new space so that we run efficiently and smoothly for our patients.

I know the obvious option is to let school go for a season. I’m sad about it for sure, but I know that my school isn’t what will provide our future and the future seems to be getting smaller and smaller. Doc and I are nearly a half century into this life of ours and our time together is dwindling. We have great plans of travel and play, without investing in what God has given us to make that happen, it might not. That is the choice I have to make and in it I am finding mostly peace, a little sadness. I believe I would make a good counselor and I know that school has opened my heart and boxes up beyond what I could have imagined. My capacity to love and accept others right where they are has grown from the knowledge I’ve gained. I wouldn’t trade that and I pray I get to return to school some day soon.

Gratefully, I am excited about what is going on in our practice! I can see God doing amazing things and being a part of that is super important to me. I wanted to write about all of this because I want Hubby to know it is my choice. He is so gracious to help make all of my dreams come true and always has been. I want you to know Hubby, I am choosing to focus on us and our future. If school happens, it does. If not, it will be okay. I can’t promise that I won’t remind you that I chose you and your success, but I do pray it will always be in kindness and love. We have some lives to change through the doors of the business God gave us and we are always better together!

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman’ because she was taken from ‘man’.” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are untied into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.” Genesis 2:22-25

Naked and not ashamed, that’s what we are Hubby. Thank you for always helping me to reach my dreams, I will offer the same to you, today and always.

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