I was a victim of childhood sexual, psychological, and physical abuse. I didn’t know about the sexual but definitely was aware of the other two. I have not been able to write this past week because my hands have been shaking since the day I left for Colorado. Today, I can finally write through shaking hands. I’m no longer a victim but a survivor.
I am not ready to reveal my full story, but I wanted to start here. One day, my full story will save someone else’s life.
I never understood why I was always sick at my stomach as a child. Always. And I never understood why I was unable to develop any close attachments other than my dear, sweet, kind Hubby. Even with my kids, I couldn’t fully let go and love them completely and it never made sense. I kept crying out to Daddy God asking Him to help me understand so that I could give them what they need before it’s too late. Lately, I feeling a tug back and forth between giving up and fighting on. I honestly had no clue if I had the strength. But God, there’s my two favorite words, He told me I can do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). I have been putting truth into my being for so long that Daddy God has rooted it there just as I have asked Him to. He will not fail me or you. Period.
As I go through this process of healing, which I am committed to for my family’s sake, please be in prayer to our ONE TRUE GOD for me. The road ahead is just a part of my journey…