Several years ago I attended a retreat called Captivating in Colorado. Can you see the theme of Colorado bringing life to me? At that retreat they taught me a lot about the Word of God and the promises and truths in it. Oh it is so hard to trust, so hard. Especially with the traumatic childhood I endured. That weekend I began to trust, just a little bit, at least the door was opened a bit wider. This past week, I walked out that door into the sun.
Stasi Eldredge pointed to a verse in the Bible that I was completely unfamiliar with. It is in Revelations 2:17 and it says that God will give us a new name, one that only the one with ears to hear will receive. Soon after that retreat I began reading the Bible for myself. I spent many years being “taught” what the Bible said but I am a girl who likes having my own knowledge, so I study. That verse stuck with me, I’ve meditated on it greatly. Since that year, God really has been giving me a new name. Mind you, Chandra will always be my name because it means “Reflector of Light”. My mom gave me that name and He loves it. However, from the time we are born other people give us names. Names like worthless, valueless, stupid, crazy, slut, addict, oh so many names. When God began giving me new names, the other old names began to fall away. I can’t really explain how it has happened but I can say that it built the trust I have in my Father today.
I have white, round stones sitting on my desk with several of the names my Father has given me. He has given me names like “Joy”, “My Cherished Friend”, “My Beloved”, “My Sweetheart” and each one has been so sweet to my heart. Once He gave them He began rooting them in me so that each one would be in the depths of my soul. He loves us so much y’all, so much. Today He gave me a new name, “Mighty”! It thrills my heart when he lavishes these precious words over me and then moves them into the creation He made called Chandra.
Today I am basking in all He has done for me and all He is going to do in the days to come. I listened to a teaching this morning from Bill Johnson of Bethel Church. It was very timely. He told us that the Lord showed him the key to mental health is giving thanks in all things. I don’t fully understand how God works or why I would have to needed to go through my childhood, but I do know the God who allowed me to be there. Man has free will and we each make our own choices, we choose to serve God or ourselves. Jesus had to make that choice too, God didn’t leave us alone in this. Man decided to murder Jesus, that was a choice. Those men who killed Him knew the laws of the prophets and could recite them with ease and yet they did not have hearts to see truth.
I was blessed with this heart and the eyes to see truth. I thank God for that every day. I asked Him for a heart like David and I received the biggest compliment from God through a precious human being last week. They said that I had a heart after Davids, praise God I asked and received. David knew how to take down his giants.
“Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it.” Revelation 2:17