There is a story in the Bible I’ve meditated on since I heard a teaching on it from Christine Caine several years ago. It’s found in Luke 18 and the title of the section is “Jesus Heals a Blind Beggar”. This morning in my time with Jesus I felt like I was that blind beggar, I literally shouted out to Jesus for His mercy in one particular area of my life. I want to share my thoughts with you.
I’ll give you the gist of the story, you may already be familiar with it. Jesus is approaching Jericho when a blind beggar heard the commotion that always accompanied Him. The beggar asked those around him what the commotion was about and someone told him it was Jesus the Nazarene passing by. I am imagining this man had heard about Jesus and the miracles He’s performed throughout the land because of what the beggar did next. He shouted, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” (Luke 18:38). What happened next is what happens much of the time in my life, the people at the front of the line shouted back to him, “Be quiet!”. The beggar could have stopped there, listening to the crowd as they ordered him to stop trying to get Jesus’s attention but instead he shouted at Him all the louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”.
Hubby recently repeated to someone that he recognized that I have been told to “be quiet” my entire life. I was a vivacious child with lots to say and so much energy that my mom was challenged by me. She loved my outgoing personality but I embarrassed her, often. She worked to constrain me in public but it was difficult, at home not so much. I was afraid to talk at home, the consequences were too great, but away from home I was excited to talk. When Hubby finally shared what he observed in my family and other relationships, I was surprised he’d noticed. Sometimes he was the one telling me to be quiet because I embarrassed him as much as I did my mom. The day he shared his thoughts I realized that he didn’t really want me to be quiet, though he got embarrassed. His desire is that I speak out so I can help others through sharing my story. In that season there was a song called “He Knows My Name” by Francesca Battistelli. One of the lyrics in the song is, “I’m not meant to just stay quiet, I’m meant to be a lion. I’ll roar beyond a song with every moment that I’ve got”. Hubby tears up when he hears that song sometimes because he said he always thinks of me when he hears it. He tells me that I’m not meant to stay quiet, that I am a lion created to roar for Jesus.
I’ve settled down quite a bit over the years, but I am still facing the demons that haunt me and tell me to “be quiet” and not share my story. One of the things I’ve learned is that people will tell you to be quiet, especially if it makes them uncomfortable or they’re afraid they won’t get heard over you. In the case of the beggar, the people up front wanted to be seen and heard and didn’t want the attention taken from them. But Jesus heard the beggar and stopped. He ordered the people to bring the beggar to Him and asked him what he wanted? The beggar told him he wanted to see (Luke 18:40). Sometimes we have to fight through the crowds, the parents, the spouses who want us to be quiet because what we say could reflect on or steal from them. If we stay quiet we risk not being seen by Jesus from whom we need mercy. My story is one of Jesus and His amazing grace and mercy, I know it has to be written. His mercy for me has been my saving grace and I can’t be quiet about it. When the beggar refused to listen to those telling him to be quiet, Jesus heard his call! The next part is my favorite. Jesus looked at the man and said, “All right, receive your sight! Your faith has healed you.”. (Luke 18: 42) The beggar’s faith in Jesus healed him. If he’d listened to the crowd, he wouldn’t have gotten the miracle.
I am tired of listening to the crowd and running from what I know God has told me to do. I’ve run from being obedient and that never turns out well. I am in the process of writing my story into a book. That is my career right now. I don’t have a clue when, or if, it will be published and that isn’t for me to consume myself with right now. I believe if God allows it to be published, it will be for His glory. I know that I am supposed to write it and that is my job. The rest is up to Him. I can’t be quiet anymore. Fear has driven me throughout life and I’ve decided my faith has to be the avenue for healing. As I write my life on paper, the wounds seem to scar over and joy is beginning to return. It’s hard work to walk through painful memories and somehow write them knowing one day many could read them. It’s painful even if no one will read them. The process is grueling but the end result is healing and that is the journey I am on.
If your are feeling like you don’t have a voice, I get it. Jesus is wanting you to cry out for Him and He will have mercy on you. You can and will be heard if you shout out, so shout with everything you have in you. Your faith in Jesus and His mercy will give you eyes to see!
When Jesus heard him, he stopped and ordered that the man be brought to him. As the man came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”. “Lord,” he said, “I want to see! and Jesus said, “All right, receive your sight! Your faith has healed you.”. Luke 18:40-42 NLT